Rafaël
de Lavergne.

A question I keep coming back to

What does it mean
to be yourself?

Am I living the life I want, or running someone else’s program?

Some of what I’ve inherited from my parents and the world around me is a gift. Some of it I want to question. I’m trying to understand what I choose to keep, and what I want to change.

Where it takes me

This question has led me into entrepreneurship, philosophy, coaching, neuroscience, and wisdom traditions from East and West—even shamanism. I explore these things for myself first. I’m still figuring out what to make of them.

My story →

What I do with it

Build

As an entrepreneur, I want to build a culture where people can be themselves. That question shapes the companies and projects I work on.

Coach

I help people explore their own choices: what they want, what holds them back, and what they might do next.

Write

I’m starting to share what I learn along the way, including the questions I haven’t answered.

“And those who were dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”
Often attributed to Friedrich Nietzsche

About

What does it mean to be myself? I was asking that question before TOTEM. It has shaped what I build, how I help people, and how I live.

Entrepreneur & coach · École Polytechnique, X2013

At work

TOTEM

Co-founder & former CEO · Eight years

I co-founded TOTEM in 2017 with a question: how could I create a place where people could be themselves?

For our customers, that started around the coffee machine: food, coffee, and a place to meet. For our employees, it meant the culture we built together. For me, it meant finding my own way to be an entrepreneur.

€10m
Raised
€4m
Annual recurring revenue
40
Employees
15,000
Customers per month

My work spanned product, operations, hiring, and fundraising. During Covid, revenue fell by 95%. Restructuring meant making difficult decisions with consequences for people I knew well. Being coached through that period changed how I approached responsibility and my own choices.

From that period: Polytechnique’s 2018 profile ↗ · My 2021 interview ↗

Coaching leaders

I trained with Jean-Daniel Rémond and have coached founders from seed to Series B. I’m interested in the person carrying the responsibility: what they want, what they believe they have to do, and where those two things pull apart.

Coaching is another way to explore that original question with someone else, alongside building and, now, writing.

Education & experience

I studied at École Polytechnique and UC Berkeley, focusing on entrepreneurship and data. In 2018, I received the X-Grant Silicon Valley award from the École Polytechnique Foundation and its US sister foundation.

I also served as a lieutenant in the French Army, worked in startups at different stages, and contributed to a team project to build a sailing drone.

My professional background ↗

In life

I dance and I climb. In climbing, I like the concentration it asks for: trying a movement, understanding what went wrong, and trying again.

My curiosity also takes me into philosophy, neuroscience, and wisdom traditions from East and West, including shamanism. I explore them for myself, looking at what I can question, try, and bring back into everyday life.

I’m still figuring out what being myself means in practice.

Essays

Notes from an unfinished exploration.

I’m writing about the beliefs we inherit, the choices we make, and what I’m learning by trying things in my own life.

First essays coming soon.

Projects

Coaching

You can carry a lot of responsibility and still need space to work out what you want.

One-to-one coaching for founders and leaders.

Trained with Jean-Daniel Rémond · Founders coached from seed to Series B

Zoom in

What needs your attention now?

We start with what brings you here and create space to think. What’s happening? What do you need? What could you do next?

Some conversations I have:

  • A co-founder whose company makes 100 million in revenue, but who is unhappy with their life.
  • A co-founder who wants to leave after ten years, but doesn’t know how.
  • A leader who feels close to burnout.

We look at what you want, what you feel obliged to do, and what makes it difficult to choose—including the expectations you carry from your family, your peers, or yourself.

Zoom out

What kind of life do you want?

Work can take up much of our lives while drawing on only part of who we are. We step back from the immediate situation to look at the wider picture.

In coaching, I look at six dimensions of energy: physical, emotional, mental, social, spiritual, and creative. What gives you energy? What drains it? What have you left little room for?

Then we bring it back to life: a choice, a conversation, a boundary, or something to try. The aim is to make room for the parts of yourself you want to develop.

“Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lie our freedom and power to choose a response.”
Author unknown · Often attributed to Viktor Frankl

What I bring

I spent eight years building TOTEM. I know the founder’s seat: hiring, fundraising, carrying responsibility, and making decisions when there is no comfortable option.

I also know what it is like to need support. Being coached through difficult periods changed how I approached my work and my own choices. That experience is part of why I do this.

Start with what’s on your mind

Tell me a little about the question or situation you’re facing. We can see whether working together makes sense.

Book a conversation ↗Get in touch on LinkedIn ↗